Toxic relationships-both sexes are vulnerable

We have been hearing of unpardonable violence and limitless cruelty against both sexes, particularly partner brutality and sexual savagery. It has become a major psychological, public and clinical health problem and a violation of human rights. The Mehrauli murder accused Aftab cut his girlfriend Shraddha’s body into 17 pieces, kept shifting it between the fridge and kitchen cabinets each time a woman he met on a dating app visited his rented house, a live-in relationship they had for nearly four years. The blue drum case refers to a notorious March 2025 murder where a merchant Navy officer Saurabh Rajput, was drugged and killed in Meerut by his wife and her lover. They dismembered his body, packed into a blue plastic drum and sealed it with white cement. Indore businessman Raja Raghuvanshi was murdered when he was on his honeymoon in Meghalaya by his wife Sonam, who orchestrated the entire plan. The recent case was that of Ketan Aggarwal from Pune, who was allegedly pushed to his death from a cliff by his fiancé and her alleged lover. The list of such brutal incidents is endless.

Intimate partner violence whether live-in, married or yet to be married as it happened in Ketan Aggarwal’s case refers to behavior by an intimate partner that causes physical, sexual or psychological abuse and torture in any form. Violence against men/women has a very long history though incidents and intensity of violence changed over a period. Violence against both genders is seen as an attempt to assume superiority over the other. It is a problem of pandemic proportions. Masculinity versus femininity and vice-versa.

Marriage is considered very sacred in India. It is an institution by itself and is totally accepted by every individual unquestionably. It is the spider web of social norms and legal regulations. Absolute faith and trust are very important. You cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain. When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are and what they are. Some people see a partner as property not a person. When control slips—a break up, a ‘no’, independence—rage replaces reason. The most important thing is the lack of ‘exit’ option. As citizens the onus lies on everyone, family members, friends and relatives to be observant and keep your eyes and ears open to observe the happenings around you. Adjustment, agreement, acknowledgement, commitment, and settlement are the most important key words for any relationship.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr Hyma Moorty

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